2016/11/19

A PERSONAL RECKONING WITH HISTORY

Just arrived in New York & headed down to Trump Towers on 5th Avenue. My head is muddled to have come full circle. Has my own belief in human beings blinded me to something uglier & darker lurking in human nature? I know my understanding has grown through so many experiences, conversations & invitations into people’s stories. But I knew that something was amiss (in the election predictions) simply through finding so few journalists or pollsters in the deeper corners, nooks & crannies of America. The abandoned vast buildings, the boarded up little businesses, the sheer volume of homeless, the students saddled with vast debt, the sense of a certain degradation in infrastructure. All made me wonder if the polls were off. But much more i feel left with questions. What of this leadership, this racism, misogyny, bigotry, xenophobia. People want change. But at what price? What does it say that we put our own economic advancement over parents, children, families feeling safe in their own countries & homes? We’ve entered “post-truth” but we’ve also entered “don’t give a fucking dam”. We’ve abandoned the history our Grandparents lived through & in amnesia history is locked in a never ending repeating cycle. So yes, i feel questions for myself. I know that my faith in humans is built on solid ground, upon journey upon journey, mile upon mile, person upon person. But equally if we cannot see that things are deeply unlatched at the moment, we’re just getting deeper into this collective blind spot. I feel all our premises & suppositions & presumptions need examined at this time. For now i’m left with questions. A sense of deep uncertainty. A knowledge that a sense of actions & a developed purpose is required. That its a moment of history each of us must have our own personal internal reckoning with. And that my own begins as my journey ends. Or maybe i’m just tired, travel weary & in need of some company.

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